Disappointment In Myself

Well folks, I usually use this space to share what is going on and for the most part I am pretty positive, but this week something happened that makes me feel very frustrated.  It was my weigh-in at Dr. Lindquist's office.  I gained.  It is so frustrating to go in and step on the scale and see that I have only done more damage to myself.  In going over the food journal he pointed out the key factor in this, actually two.  First, the reintroduction of too many carbs on a daily basis.  The second is portion control, it is out of control.

I must say that he is a whole lot nicer to me than I am to myself.  At the same time it is really not fun to look at how far I have come since last year and at the same time knowing I am going backwards.  This just really needs to get under control.  I was talking to my friend Jodie last night and she brought up a really great question, "How do you feel about your friends and family making comments and sharing suggestions when we see you reaching for or ordering food that is not the best choice?"  I will be honest, in the past I would have been not very receptive, but this needs to change.  I have to put the past in the past.

 

As Dr. Lindquist so clearly pointed out once again, if change does not happen and soon he does not give me five years.  That is a very sobering comment.  I have made such amazing changes from where I was in December 2011 and I just cannot go back there.  At the same time I cannot ignore how I am feeling these days by the time I get home.  Totally exhausted and not very active, this must change.  Getting bigger is not an option.  I need to get refocused and move forward.  And so there it is folks, a snapshot at what is happening with Chris for the moment.